Almost doesn’t count…
Today is July 1st. This means that we have lived through a full six months of the year 2010. This got me thinking about what my new years resolutions were, and I decided to check my progress and share my status with you. You can read my New Years post HERE where I clearly outline my goals.
Resolution 1.) to be a better missionary. i will invite (and pray the invitation is accepted) a minimum of 10 people to attend church with me. I was able to get two visitors last year, and although neither have been baptized yet I know that they have at least been introduced and that they know where to go if they have questions or concerns of any kind.
My first New Years Resolution this year was to be a better missionary. I feel as thought I got off on the right track by having the missionaries who are currently living in my ward over for dinner once and inviting my Mother over to join us. My mom has accompanied me to several church events where she seemed to have enjoyed herself, and I thought that maybe having her over for dinner would be a good start. We ate the dinner I had prepared, watched a church movie with the guys and then read a from our scriptures outloud. I am pretty sure the topic of that evenings discussions was The Restoration of the gospel because, still to this day, it is one of my favorite things to discuss. My mom was given a Book of Mormon to read aloud from and then accepted the offer to keep it. I am not sure if she has read any of it since, but I know that she has been introduced and she knows where to go if she has any questions. I invited the missionaries over once again the following month, and my mother agreed to join us, but I fell ill and had to cancel our plans so that I could go to the hospital that evening. I haven’t signed up to have them over since, but I think its about time. They have such a strong spirit about them, and you can’t help but have a great time when they are spending time with you in your home. As far as inviting anyone else to church, I have drooped invites into conversations and emails throughout the year, but as not to seem overly pushy, haven’t followed up as much as I probably should have.
Resolution 2.) to better live the words of wisdom. I already follow the words of wisdom, but I want to be even healthier. I want to take care of this body that I have been given. I only get one and truth be told I have already put mine through hell and back in the seemingly short time i have been on this earth.
I am somewhat pleased with my progress on this resolution thus far. Of course I do follow the words of wisdom, I have since investigating the church and don’t ever intend on not following them, but, I still have a few unhealthy habits that I am sure I intended on giving up when I made this resolution. A decrease in fountain drinks would be a good start, as it seems to be my current obsession.
Resolution 3.) to be a better wife and mother. I will give all of myself to my family. I will make sure they know i love them and that I am here for them. I will teach Sam the right ways of living and try to get less frustrated with him as he grows and learns and naturally makes mistakes. I will raise my daughter as best as I can and remember my unconditional love for her at all times – even during the 3am feeding on my 97th consecutive sleepless night following her birth.
Ah, yes. Its strange to re-visit these. I wrote them while I was expecting little Miss Charlie to arrive, and was almost clueless as to how her birth would effect me. I would like to say that I am, again, pleased with my progress on this resolution. I have been getting less frustrated with Sam as he grows, learns, and makes mistakes. He is actually very mature for his age, I think, and we have developed a great method of communication. As far as Charlie goes, I make a conscious effort to enjoy her every moment of baby-hood. She has almost doubled in size since her birth and I know she’s just going to continue to get bigger. I still consider her a newborn, at only 7 weeks old, but she can sit unassisted for over an hour in her little chair and she can roll-over and scoot too. She still has her baby smell, but it is quickly fading and just the thought of it being entirely gone makes me want to cry. I try to focus only her while she nurses, although I do often multi-task, and just enjoy her. Sam grew up way to fast for me, and I am trying to slow down and enjoy it more this time around. She may very well be my last baby (although i hope not!) and I don’t to miss a thing. I also have taken much better care of my house and my other in-home responsibilities this year, than in years past. My focus is my family and everything I do – or choose not to do, for that matter – is for them… even if they might not understand it at times.
Resolution 4.) blog more often. I want to use this blog as the tool i originally intended it to be. I want to learn more from ya’ll and i want to write about the ways that the LORD is working in my life.
I have pretty much failed thus far at obtaining this goal. I think about blogging ALL the time, but just never get around to it. You do have my promise that I will continue to make an effort when it comes to keeping this site updated. I do want to hear from you guys more often and I want to speak to you too.
Resolution 5.) read The Book of Mormon from start to finish. The ladies group at my church is doing a challenge together so that we can all read a little bit each day and complete the book on or before the end of the year.
Fail. Big fat FAIL. I haven’t even finished 2 Nephi, to be completely honestly with you, but I AM reading and I WILL finish. I am waiting before trying to accomplish other church-related things until I am done reading my scriptures from cover to cover. I am extremely motivated to do this, believe it or not, I just need a few hours of uninterrupted silence and I could probably read it all at once.
Almost doesn’t count, and because it doesn’t count I will continue to strive to reach these goals that I outlined 6 months ago. I’m so very glad I decided to revisit them, it was a good reminder.
Also, I’d love to hear from you… so de-lurk, my blogger friends, and say hi!
(PS what time does Magnolia ward start? I want to visit ya’ll, but I never remember what time your meetings begin. Sorry!)
Filed under Mormon, baptism, being a mother, family, goals, holidays, what i'm doing... | Tags: 2010, lds, new years resolutions revisited | Comments (2)Empty me of me so I can be filled with you…
Even though I have gotten together with church members on a very regular basis over the past six weeks, I hadn’t been to a church meeting until Yesterday. It was my first time back at the church, other than my cleaning assignment and a nursery play date, since the birth of Charlie. I knew I missed being there, but i didn’t realize just how much I had missed it. How much I needed to be there. I arrived late, and had to sit in the very last row. Sam was quiet and well behaved even though I hadn’t anything to entertain him. He just sat there and ‘read’ his scriptures and sang random lyrics when everyone else was singing hymns. I had to go to the mother’s room once with Charlie during sacrament to nurse, but other than that the day went very (unexpectedly) smoothly. Although I had been anticipating my return to church, I had been afraid about how hard it would be to tend to two children ALONE. I would run through all the possible scenarios in my head and just couldn’t figure out how i’d carry my scriptures, the carseat/carrier, sam’s bag-o-stuff, sam’s scriptures, a blanket for the baby, ect. So, i simply didn’t. Instead of bringing all kinds of things with me to church i decided on the basics – a diaper bag and scriptures. That was it. I decided that Sam should not be entertained with toys at church and that Charlie didn’t need anything other than diapers, wipes and *me*. I didn’t even bring in the baby carrier. I, instead, chose to ‘wear’ her on my chest to make juggling everything else easier. It went more smoothly than i thought it would – although an extra set of hands would have been nice – and I’m glad I finally went back.
I wasn’t able to take the sacrament because I arrived to late, but the talks were on family. It was so great to hear the speaker’s messages! I had been going to a family history class during the second hour of church before, but having missed so many weeks i was a bit unsure of wear to go, and arrived late to that class as well (i HATE being late, by the way.) I took my time dropping Sam off at his class and eventually found my way to mine. I didn’t stay there long though, I hadn’t brought any of my family history information or my netbook/laptop with with me. (oh, but how cool is this – my dad has all of my family history information dated back to like the 1400’s on BOTH sides of my family. He also knows who has had temple work done for them, even though that information might be outdated. Apparently, I have a great aunt and uncle whom I have never met that are church members, and even though my dad isn’t, he has kept up with some of their information. I haven’t actually uploaded any of my information on familysearch yet, but will as soon as i get it all from my dad.) I wondered out to the bulletin board that I decorate – my calling – and realized how far behind on that I had gotten. There were new members whose photos weren’t posted, and it was still decorated in a winter theme. I spoke to the sister whom I assist with the board and made plans for updating it. During the 3rd hour I made it to RS where I was reminded that we have hit the half way mark in our BOM reading challenge… where I realized I was only about a quarter of the way through.
The one year anniversary of my baptism is rapidly approaching and I haven’t finished anything that I told myself I would. I haven’t read the entire Book of Mormon yet. I haven’t kept up with my calling. I haven’t always done my visiting teaching. I haven’t always let my home teachers or visiting teachers come see me in my home because of reasons i can’t always control, but none-the-less…
Someone recently told met that “if you are too busy for to read your scriptures and to do what God has called you to do then you are much more busy than he ever wanted you to be!” Although, they were kidding when they told me this, I can’t help but feel the truth in that statement. There are so many tasks that I dedicate my time to that are in NO way more important than my studies and my other responsibilities.
Tonight, while driving home late from sewing at my mom’s house and trying to update my website with new items for sale (something i didn’t finish either…) I heard a song that spoke to me.
Empty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me
So I can be
Filled with you.
Oh, how I needed to hear those exact words. I am selfish. I have vein ambitions. I have a poisonous pride. I have come so far in the past year, but I’m still not done growing. I am still not done learning. I don’t think I ever will be…
Filed under Mormon, baptism, being a mother, family, quotes, temples and temple work, what i'm doing... | Comment (0)I’ve had just enough of the spotlight
When it burns bright
To see how it gets in the blood
And I’ve tasted my share
Of the sweet life
And the wild ride
And found a little is not quite enoughI know how i can stray
And how fast my heart could changeEmpty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me
So i can be
Filled with youIve seen just enough of the quick buys
Of the best lies
To know how prodigals can be drawn awayI know how I can stray
And how fast my heart could change
Empty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me
So I can be
Filled with youCuz everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you
Compared to you
Cuz everything is a lesser thing
Compared to you
So I surrender allEmpty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my prideEmpty me
Of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition
And the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me
So I can be
Lord empty me of me
So I can be
Filled with you.
Filled with you
Empty me
Baptisms…. For the living & the dead
I was raised in a mixed-christian-denomination household where the subject of baptism was looked at differently by each of my parents. My mother’s church, the Missouri Synod branch of the Lutheran Church, believed in baptizing infants and other very young children. They taught that without being baptized you could not enter the gates of heaven . As a result I was baptized as an infant, and when I had my first born I choose to have him baptized as well. I mean, what kind of mother would I be to let my son go to hell if he were to pass away as before being old enough to make that decision for himself. I felt like it was my responsibility to have him baptized, not to mention it was a tradition in my family. I asked the same pastor who baptized me as a baby (and also my siblings) to preform the ceremony and I made the 600 mile round trip drive to see it happen. Although, I don’t regret doing it, I now realize that I was doubting the mercy Christ by baptizing my son before he reached the age of accountability. As for my own infant baptism, I am not angry with the choice my parents made either. I am happy that they loved me enough to do what they felt was right. Without being raised in the churches I was raised in while growing up I might not have had the desire to pray and to be led to the Church I now am a member of.
Making the decision to get baptized as an adult was a big deal for me. It was something I never thought I would commit to doing – afterall, I thought it was something only babies had done or “strange born again” Christians who attended “Hollywood” churches did. I remember when the missionaries first asked me if I would be baptized. I smiled and told Elder Cluff “Yes, probably. But today is not the day.” It would be a few weeks later until I received my spiritual confirmation. I was sitting on my couch during one of my lessons, happy as always to be hearing the message the elders had prepared for me. When the Elder Cluff asked if August 29th would work for me I just KNEW it was the right time. It was the right day and I didn’t care anymore that I was an adult or that people would see me get baptized or that my friends and family might think I was weird for joing the church. I was so happy… so excited.. so ready. It was the right time, and I finally knew it.
As I prepared for my baptism I grew to be more excited. I studied more about the ordinance and readied myself for the commitment I was making. I thought about having been baptized before and how I never felt “saved” in all those 23 years that followed. I thought about how I wanted everyone to be as happy as I was and this brought me to think about people who were not allowed to study the restored gospel because of their living situations or because of the laws the governments forced them to follow in their own counties. There have been billions of people who have passed away without having the ability to learn about Jesus Christ. People who have never seen a bible, and people who have never been introduced to any Christian denomination. Babies who are stillborn. Toddlers and young children who pass away in accidents or from illness. People who’s governments control their religious exposure. Why would a loving savior punish them for something that they really had no control over? I had learned about baptisms for the dead, also known as baptisms by proxy, in my studies before joining the church. I had been asked over and over if I had questions on the ordinance, because I can only assume most investigators and new comers to the church must have questions when hearing about something that, to my knowledge, no other christian denomination preforms. I had no questions. It made sense to me. If you aren’t given the opportunity to learn about the gospel here, why wouldn’t you be given another chance after your earth life? Why would you be sent to hell, or simply refused entrance into heaven’s gates if you lost your life before you even had the opportunity to be introduced to it?
Baptisms for the dead was one of my favorite topics to study as an investigator to the church and my interest continued to grow even after I joined. I looked forward to the day when I would be able to preform the saving ordinance for someone who was waiting on the otherside of the veil. Waiting, watching, and rejoicing that their opportunity to accept the work that I was preforming for them was finally coming.
When I was first able to preform baptisms for the dead I wanted to go with someone else from my church. I didn’t want to go alone for several reasons, and on the night of my first opportunity to go with a group of people from my church my sister went into labor and had some very serious complications that almost resulted in the loss of her and her babies life. Needless to say I went with my parents on a very long overnight road trip to get to her hospital as fast as I could and missed my opportunity to do baptisms. When the next opportunity came the person I was supposed to go with fell ill, then her child fell ill, then mine and then I eventually became ill myself. Shortly after we all recovered we had conflicting plans because of the thanksgiving and Christmas holidays and before I knew it January was here. My friend approached me in the hall at church on Sunday afternoon after Sunday school class had let out. She told me that she was available that Saturday, if I was. I thought about it briefly and told her I could go. I didn’t know for sure if I would actually have any conflicts that day or not, but decided that unless a life or death emergency occurred I would cancel any other plans that might have come up so that I could go do what I knew needed to be done.
The next Saturday came and my friend picked me up at my house early in the morning. My husband and son were still sleeping. I queitly left my house and rode with her to the Houston Temple. We listened to a talk on family work on our way there, all the while talking about other church things also. She is also a convert to the church – I believe this year will mark her 10th anniversary – and I always love hearing her conversion stories. When we arrived she asked me if I was nervous. I honestly hadn’t been up until that point, but I was nervous. I was also happy and excited as well.
I can’t really explain how I felt while preforming these ordinances, baptisms and confirmations, for deceased persons I had never met. Honestly,It was different than I had expected, but it was still an awesome and spirit filled experience. I have hopes of returning to do more work for people on the other side of the veil – including my own ancestors once I am able to complete some research on them.
Several biblical references to read on this topic:
1 Peter 4:6 – Where the gospel was preached to the dead
Malachi 4:5-6 – Missions of Elijah
1 Corinthians 15:29 – Work preformed for the dead
There are other references from the bible I can send any of you who might be interested, and additional references from The Book of Mormon as well.
Here is a general photo of a baptismal font where baptisms for the dead are preformed in a temple.
When emailing my good friend Carter recently on this topic he wrote me back a list of scriptures and thoughts on the topic of baptisms for the dead. It was a very long, well worded and informative email. I would like to share this little quote with you:
Filed under Mormon, baptism, family, temples and temple work, what i'm doing... | Tags: baptisms for the dead | Comment (0)
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the only church that fulfills the Biblical ordinance of baptism for the dead that is required to save those who Christ, Paul and Peter all affirmed either had not heard the word of the Lord in this life, but would hear and accept it in the next life and be saved after death; or had heard The Word but had not yet had the opportunity to receive the ordinance of baptism to seal the promise. This ordinance, as with all ordinances of the gospel, is done through the power of the priesthood keys (Melchizedek) that Christ gave to Peter:
Matthew 16:18-19 (Christ speaking again): “And I say also unto thee, That thou art Peter, and upon this rock I will build my church; and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it. And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”
These “keys of the kingdom of heaven” that bind in heaven whatever those who righteously hold the priesthood bind on earth, are used to perform ordinances of salvation—among them baptisms for the dead—in today’s temples of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; in the same way that the ordinances of the Mosiac law (blood and other preparatory sacrifices) were practiced in the tabernacle and later in the temples of Solomon, Zerubbabel and Herod.
In fact, this is all in fulfillment of a command given through prophecy by Malachi at the end of the Old Testament. It seems tellingly important to me that the very last thing the Lord had written in the Old Testament is this:
Malachi 4:5-6: “Behold I will send Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.”
A study of Elijah’s life in the Old Testament (too lengthy to go into here) shows that Elijah held the priesthood sealing power Christ later passed on to Peter. Therefore the crux of Malachi’s statement is this:
If those sealing powers had not been passed on from Elijah, through Christ, to Peter—if the priesthood wasn’t available for the children of men to perform baptisms for their dead forefathers, as Paul had argued—then all those billions of Heavenly Father’s children who had not heard the gospel, all those people in Asia and elsewhere who for millennia had not even heard of Jesus Christ, much less had a chance to receive His Word—could not be saved.
Is it a fair and loving Heavenly Father who for most of the history of earth only loved and saved Caucasians? Would a loving Father in Heaven condemn the other billions of His children when they haven’t even had a chance to hear His Word? Such a spiritual carnage truly would be a curse upon the earth, as Malachi had described. But Heavenly Father loves His children—every one—and He has made a way for all to hear His Word and have the opportunity to be saved: even those who during their lifetime had no idea the gospel existed.
the short version of what i’ve been up to:
I have been out of town, and I am exhausted. This is the very short version of everything I want to blog about.
Saturday was the Relief Society’s broadcast, and although it was a little different than I had expected I really enjoyed it. Before watching it we were able to make 1000 hygiene kits for families in need.
Sunday was a great meeting. It was fast and testimony week (early because of conference this weekend) and although I spent most of the sacrament meeting in the hall since Sam was talking loudly I enjoyed hearing the testimonies… I always do. I also was set apart for my first calling & paid my first full tithe (going to do it monthly) during the second hour of church. It was really a spirit-filled day.
Monday was the new member ice cream social for my ward. I was able to attend AND bring both of my parents along (they didn’t attend my baptism, and this is the first time they have been able to attend a church event.). My mom ran into a friend of a friend and both seemed to have had a great time!
I have been preparing for my first craft show all week! One of the sisters in my ward has helped me with some of the sweets I am making, and what a blessing that has been! I have made well over 250 cookies, hand-dipped chocolate covered pretzels, candied apples, chocolate covered apples, lollipops and old-fashioned hard candies to sell there in addition to my crafts. If you live in the southeast Texas area come out and see me! I’ll post a separate post with the address and hours of the show (I don’t know it off the top of my head…)
Last night my sister’s water broke. I was inspired to leave immediately to go and see her, although the original plan was to travel the next day. It took a little while but I convinced my parents that we should leave even though that meant we would drive until close to 3:30AM. Her placenta ended up rupturing and she had her baby via emergency c-section. Doctors said this was only the 3rd case were both the mommy and baby survived the rupture in the history of this small-town hospital. Auden Breize Alfaro was born on 10/1/09 at 1:30AM weighing in at 6lbs 14oz in Beeville, Texas. All seems well. I have a niece and Sam has a cousin. Sam was VERY excited about the baby and begged to hold her several times. He did great supporting her head and making sure her little hat stayed in place. The drive was a little hard on me, and we are all exhausted but are back home and doing well. Photos to follow soon.
I was supposed to go to the temple tonight for the first time, but missed it because of my travels. I am planning on going next week. A few weeks ago, when my grandmother was in town, she attended church with me. The RS lesson was about Baptisms for the dead, and this was something that she found interesting. She declined the opportunity to keep the lesson book she used in class, but asked me to make a list of Biblical reasons and examples where baptisms of the dead were preformed or talked about in the Bible. I am working on composing a mini-lesson for her to study via email and when I am done I’ll also post the scripture references here for any of you that are interested.
Filed under Mormon, about me, baptism, family, fast and testimony, scarey stuff!, what i'm doing... | Tags: 200 cookies, auden breize alfaro, baptisms for the dead, beeville texas, family, full tithe, ice cream social, lds, random updates, RS conferance in cypress texas, ruptured placenta, set apart for calling, short version of updates, temple, upcoming craft show in magnoilia texas, what i have been up too | Comment (0)The long-overdue elaboration on my last “list” post:
I meant to blog Sunday afternoon about the things I had listed online Saturday, but never got around to it. Same excuse. I am busy. However, I feel as though it is important to continue to share my progress and growth with ya’ll. According to my Cpanel Stats I have about 150 unique readers each month to my blog totally a few thousand visits to my site. This is nothing compared to the big blogs of the internet, but for a ‘no one’ like myself sharing a journey that I really didn’t think would interest most people, it’s a nice feeling. I started this blog to get input, advice and assistance on my journey as well as sharing what I was up to each week. I wanted to visit different churches of different faiths and wanted to take photographs of the interesting people I met and things I was seeing each week. This blog (and journey…) went in a totally different direction, and I’m happy it did. I even have two readers in Korea, wow.
So, anyway, back to the list I promised to elaborate on.
Chris’ baptism. WOW. When I was asked to share my testimony I excitedly agreed before I remembered how I am a horrible public speaker.
I stutter.
I play with my hands.
I adjust my clothing.
My eyes wander.
I get off topic.
I worry about what may or may not be stuck in my teeth.
I had a week to prepare a speech, but I didn’t. I arrived about 15 minutes early and could have thought about what to say then, but didn’t. Instead I sat in my truck and prayed for the strength to overcome my fear of public speaking and guidance and wisdom to help me say the right things. When I was younger I was a member of AWANA. It was a bible memorization club of sorts. We had uniforms. We earned patches. We competed in Bible Olympics and quizzes and my AWANA church actually became state champs (if I remember correctly.) We had indidvidual challenges and I have a box of trophies in my closet as proof of the dedication I had for this activity (although, I only got as far as I did because of the enormous effort my Mom put in to make me study my AWANA books each night in preparation for the Wednesday meetings…) As part of AWANA we always had camps, sleepovers, and lockins. During these events the children would take turns telling their testimony. I always wanted to have a cool story about how I came to faith, but I didn’t ever have one so I never spoke. I didn’t have faith either. They would also always have an opportunity sometime during the night some where between the pizza and the crafts where we would all lay on the floor with our head buried in our arms so that we could not see the children around us. They would ask us to raise our hand if we did NOT have a relationship with Jesus Christ so that they could take our names down and speak with us and pray with us individually later. I ALWAYS rose my hand. I ALWAYS prayed with their counselors. I ALWAYS got nothing.
Anyways this last Saturday started out rough. I had been in arguments all morning fighting for what I believe in. I could literally feel Satan pushing me towards my breaking point. I was close, but I wasn’t breaking. I stumbled out of the house late and headed for the chapel where I had only been once before – on my own baptismal day. I wasn’t dressed as nice as I wanted to be. I was wearing an old denim skirt and flip flops. My shirt was a little too small, and probably not appropriate for the event. My eyes were red and puffy from crying for three hours straight. My nose was running. My face was swollen and red from the yelling and crying that had taken place that morning. I was scatterbrained and overwhelmed and already embarrassed about my appearance. I didn’t know what I was going to say, but I knew I had to go.
I arrived.
I parked.
I prayed.
I walked in the chapel and felt immedatly calm. I walked into the same room, where just two weeks prior, I was baptized. I sat down towards the back of the room. I said a “Hi.” To a few friendly faces, but mostly kept to myself.
It started out with a hymn and a prayer. Then I watched as Chris was baptized. It was so great to sit back and watch from another point of view. Mine went so fast, and I had already forgotten the tiny details. I watched in awe and remembered the covenant that I had made. There was a speech on baptism. Then Brother Wright gave a speech on the gift of the Holy Ghost. It was exactly what I needed to hear. He spoke about how Satan knows our weaknesses and knows how to push us and that he will. He spoke about how the Holy Ghost can guide and comfort us in those times. I wanted to cry, but knowing I was speaking next tried to contain myself.
I was introduced and I walked to the front of the room. “Hi. I’m Sister Taylor Kelch. I have only been a member for about 2 weeks now. I want to start my testimony with how I was brought to the church because I feel like that is one of the most important parts of my journey.” I spoke about how I pulled my truck over to pray and how I received my answer immediately. I spoke about how I tried for months to ignore the spirit and fight where I was being lead. I giggled and said that I was actually introduced to the Mormon Church by a Baptist, Rae-Lynn, because she believed that the spirit spoke to me and she knew exactly how to get me in touch with a man who could answer my questions and begin to teach me and introduce me to the church. I spoke about attending the Magnolia ward and the great friends I made in Jay and Carter. I told my whole story and then when I thought I was finished I felt the spirit and continued talking. “I also want to take a moment to touch on something that Brother Wright said. Satan will try very hard to push you off your path.” This is where I broke down in to a big-sobbing-covered-in-snot-mess. “I have only been a member a few weeks and I have already felt it happening so much.” I talked about the struggles I had been through the past few days and how hard they were, but how I was coping. “I can honestly say that I have been pushed to my breaking point, but no further. I can not break now, and that is something I could never say before.” I continued speaking for just a few minutes and then I closed “In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.” And walked back to my seat. I was handed tissues and when I had wiped my eyes enough to see the others in the room I realized that I was not the only one crying. As soon as the ceremony was over I ran to the bathroom to finish cleaning my face before heading to the reception room to eat and chat with the other members. Friends, an extended family of sorts, surrounded me and it felt nice. I felt better about all the events that had led up to that point. I felt stronger and happier than I had that morning, and I was thankful I had been given the opportunity to come and share my testimony with the other people in the room.
I enjoyed the opportunity of getting to see a baptism again and to be reminded of my own. Chris’s was a little different, but very similar. I will say this though, I do wish that I could remember my confirmation a little clearer. I remember it well, and I do remember what was said. I just wish I remembered it word for word. I have thought back to it often in the past few weeks. I didn’t realize until recently that each confirmation has certain parts that are the same for everyone, but is then followed by a personal blessing of sorts. I just wish I had mine memorized a little better. I do remember most of it though, and enjoy looking back on it.
Overcoming Addiction. We all have addictions. I have family members that are addicted to heroin and crystal meth. I have other, closer, family members that are addicted to alcohol and tobacco. I have addictions myself too. Food is one of them, money is another. It may not seem like a problem, but it is. You know when you are addicted when you go out of your way to lie and hide what you are doing. There was one point in my life where I was given strict doctor’s orders not to eat anything (liquids only) for two weeks following a surgery. This was critical to my healing. Instead of obeying I hid and ate. I eventually came clean about this and worked through my issues. It may not seem like an addiction, but it was. It is still something I struggle with. You might wonder why I am talking about this. Someone close to me is fighting with their own addiction, and I know from watching them that you have to say out loud “I am not going to be a slave to ________ anymore!” and then go one day at a time from there. The first week is going to be the hardest. You will have withdrawals and you will be in a horrible mood. You will say things that will hurt the people you love and you will want to give in to your cravings badly. If you just fight through it though, it will get better. You will want it less, and you will become stronger. Everyone has addictions, or weaknesses. Everyone struggles. You are not alone. Admitting that you want to make a change is the first step and then seeking help is the second step. No one is perfect – I certainly am not – but you have the strength deep inside of you to kick your habits. It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. Email me if you want, and I’ll pray with you.
My first calling. I was given a calling last week as Assistant Bulletin Board Coordinator for my ward. This may not sound that exciting to some, but for me its perfect. It will give me the opportunity to serve, but also allow me to be free in the second and third hour of church so that I can attend Sunday school and Relief Society. It also gives me the opportunity to be creative, but not be overwhelmed. I’m excited! Although…. I haven’t even spoken to the lady whom I’ll be assisting. I forgot to stay after church last week. I will have to stay after this week to get more information. I don’t know where my mind went, but rushed out the doors as soon as the Relief Society meeting ended.
Tonight I had my first of 5 post-baptismal meetings. Instead of meeting with elders this time around I am meeting with different families in my ward. Tonight I met with the Wright family and our talk was on the plan of salvation. I had a great time, and I learned a lot. I also feel like I have made even more friends in my ward. Sam had a blast. They have an almost 4 year old, Jay, that he played with all night and told me in the car that he wanted to stay with jay tonight. Jay had a train set (Sam’s favorite thing ever) and a mini trampoline in his play room. No wander Sam didn’t want to come home!
I have much more I want to talk about, but I think I have rambled enough this evening. Its 1AM now, and I have a full day ahead of me.
As always, I look forward to hearing from ya’ll!
Filed under Mormon, about me, baptism, family, fast and testimony, healing, hope, how it started, prayer requests, what i'm doing... | Comment (1)Things I want to blog about tonight, but decidedly won’t:
There are quite a few things I would like to blog about tonight, but I just don’t have the brainpower to write it all outtonight, so i won’t. I’ll aim for a real post sometime tomorrow.
-Attending Chris’ baptism, and giving my testimony for the first time (ever!) in public
-The very stressful way my day started
-The talk on the gift of the Holy Ghost that Brother Wright gave today. I will say this – it was exactly what I needed to hear.
-How Satan can continue to push me towards my breaking point, but he can’t actually break me. I am not given anything that I can not handle.
-The big craft show at the barry center today. I wanted to have a sales booth there, but didn’t. I wanted to go and shop there, but didn’t.
-How overcoming addictions is hard on everyone, not just the person who is addicted.
-The movie I watched this afternoon with the elders.
-My (first!!!) upcoming craft show in Magnolia, Texas on Oct. 3rd.
-The good news that I actually do have, but can’t yet share.
-The bad news I have, but am praying that it turns better.
Instead of putting my last bit of strength into blogging tonight (a real post, not this pathetic list… LOL) I have decided to order Chinese food and read though my scriptures while following along to the dvd I purchased. The DVD is text & audio only – no pictures – and I think it may help me read though at a slightly faster pace.
Filed under about me, baptism | Comment (0)First Sunday in September
Today is the first Sunday in the month of September. Today was my first time hearing the testimonies of the members of my home ward. There were many more children that spoke it seemed like, and a sister that I have befriended also spoke and brought me to tears with her words.
After the meeting I took Sam to his class where he was extremely happy to be left, and I headed off to my own class. This time the class was taught by our three, soon to be two, elders and the topic was families. I felt the spirit very strongly throughout the entire class, stronger than any other class I have been to before, and was given just enough strength not to break down and cry throughout the entire lesson. This is a very hard topic and sensitive issue for me because, as of now, I can not be sealed. Over the past few months I have seen small glimpses of growth, understanding and the desire to learn, but I have also witnessed a stubbornness and unwillingness/inability to give up habits and addictions. I’ll spare you the details, but at times it really is almost too much to bare.
The Relief Society meeting was great, and for the first time I verbally participated. When the sister who was teaching asked referenced a story from The Book of Mormon and asked the class a question I was actually able to answer. I had read the story she was teaching from last night (three times actually, because I read everything more than once to make sure I have read it correctly) and was able to participate in the discussion. I was also called on twice to read aloud. I remembered to buy (and actually remembered to bring to church…) extra toothpaste yesterday for the hygiene kits we will be assembling before the general conference. I met a sister that organizes play dates with mothers of children close to Sam’s age too. All in all it was a great meeting.
This week I have a lot going on, so I may not be around to blog much. I am house-sitting and dog-watching for a family in my ward that lives near by throughout the entire week. Monday is a holiday and Casey has made plans for us, but I am not exactly sure of what all they are. I am also volunteering at a missionary meeting on Tuesday morning, and although I really don’t have the slightest clue on what I’ll be doing there I am actually looking forward to it. Then on Wednesday night I have an interview with the Bishop – I am really looking forward to that, but as always with everything, I am somewhat nervous. I will probably use Thursday and Friday to prepare for my upcoming craft show, and Saturday I have been asked to share my testimony at a baptism. Its actually pretty neat that I was asked to share it because a few days ago during my last meeting with the elders at my house we quickly touched on the topic of the men in the ward that were going shooting together this upcoming Saturday and that my husband was thinking about attending. They asked what time it was going to be so that they could try and schedule the baptism at a different time so that any men interested in attending both could possibly do so. As soon as they mentioned having a baptism that day I immediately thought about volunteering to share my testimony (trust me, I have A LOT to say) but, being somewhat new and shy, I choose not to. So today when I was asked I wasted no time saying “YES!” Obviously, It was meant to be.
Please feel free to leave me your comments, or to email me directly. I love hearing from ya’ll – especially my friends that I don’t get to see much anymore!
Have a great week and a SAFE holiday. I know I have said this tons of times before, but please please please please please DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE. Also, just because you are sober doesn’t mean that the people driving next to you are. Don’t drive unless you have to!
Filed under Atheists, Mormon, asking for advice, baptism, fast and testimony, hope, what i'm doing... | Comment (0)My baptism
I am so sorry that it has taken me this long to write out this post. I had intended on doing it sooner, but I have had a lot of things come up over the past few days.
My day started a little earlier than a typical Saturday. I woke up at 6:30AM to finish up my errands. I needed to purchase all white shoes and I wanted to get my pictures taken. Since the day I got baptized was also my birthday I also had plans for sugar-free floats with my family in lieu of cake and ice cream. I needed to accomplish of these things before my baptism at 3:30 because my parents go to church on Saturday night and I wouldn’t be seeing them that evening.
I left my house bright and early, as did Casey who also had a few things to do, with intentions on knocking out everything on my list before 9AM. Apparently the world sleeps in on Saturday’s and nowhere that I needed to go was even open as I drove around early that morning. I parked in the shopping center in Katy where I hoped to purchase my white shoes and waited for them to open. I went in and, like everywhere else, they had an extremely small selection of white woman’s shoes to choose from. The styles they had were not at all church appropriate (and let me tell you I was SHOCKED at the styles in the young girl sizes…) The lady that worked at the store was very nice and took time showing me where all the white shoes in my size were located within the store. I thanked her for her help and decided to look around once more before leaving. This had been the 7th store I had been to with out any luck of finding shoes to wear to the chapel, I wanted to glance once more before leaving. At the very end of the aisle I was in there was a smashed shoe box that was missing its top. The shoes the box were wrapped in dirty tissue paper. I am not sure why, but I decided to open the paper and when I did I saw a bright white pair of flat woman’s shoes. I tried them on and they fit perfectly. I looked at the tag and it said they cost $23.99. I was a little disappointed at the price because I had only budgeted $15 to purchase shoes with, but I took them up to the kind lady and told her I was ready to check out. I asked her if these shoes happened to be on sale, and she said “oh yes, they are $7.” I was so excited I think I would have hugged her if she wasn’t behind the counter. I quickly paid and left the store with intentions on heading to my next destination, Hallmark. When I got there I realized they were also not opened and I decided sit, again, in my car while I waited for the store to open. I usually make my own cards, but had recently run out of supplies. After waiting for about 20 minutes in my truck I decided that I would just make the cards I needed myself later instead of purchasing it. I called Casey to let him know where I was and headed home.
After I got home I packed up my white dress and new shoes, as well as my jumpsuit and a hair brush and a few other things I thought I might need after my baptism and headed out to my parents house. By the time I arrived there it was already 11AM. I quickly said hello to my sister and her boyfriend that were in town visiting and headed out the door to finish up the last few things I needed to get done before my baptism. My sister came with me and my husband and son stayed at my parent’s house.
Next thing I knew it was time to head to the chapel. I had not ever been there before, and I was extremely worried that I would get lost and be late. I left so early that I arrived at the chapel about 40 minutes early. I sat with my husband and sister in the car. I was all of a sudden nervous, and also nauseous. I absolutely no doubts that I was doing the right thing and joining the right church, but I am shy and was somewhat nervous about the people that were going to be there. I would have a few friends there from the Magnolia ward that I knew were coming and I had my husband, my sister and my sister-in-law and her boyfriend, but I knew there would be others that I didn’t know. As soon as I walked in the chapel I saw the elders, and also a lady that I had sat next to in Sunday school a few times. That was comforting, and as I walked into the Relief Society room where the baptismal font is located I felt a calming feeling come over me. I wasn’t nervous anymore. I didn’t even feel shy. I was where I needed to be and I was truly happy. Sister Burton, a lady from my ward that happens to be Sam’s Sunday School teacher AND also my neighbor, greeted me and started snapping pictures with my camera. I posed with the elders, I posed with my husband, I posed alone. I was also in pictures I had no idea were being taken. Then I saw Carter walking up. I grabbed Casey by the arm and pointed to the doors and told him that the man walking was Carter. They had never met before, and I was excited to introduce them. It seems like as soon as he walked in the doors the camera’s started snapping and the three of us posed for what felt like a ton of photos. Then Sister Burton told me that I needed to go change into my jumpsuit, so I did. As soon as I exited the room where I changed we started taking more pictures until it was time to go in to the room and get started. At this point more people had arrived, and I actually knew quite a few of them. I have made a lot of friends in the church, I hadn’t even realized it until that day. When I walked in to sit down I saw Jay and his wife Candy sitting behind us in the second row. I almost didn’t recognize him, but when I did I was excited. Jay had introduced me to the church, and I always sat with his wife when I did attend in his ward. I said “Hi.” real quick and the piano started to play. The opening hymn was “How great thou art”. I love that song. There was an opening prayer said, and then the talks were given by the elders. Next thing I knew I was baptized. All I’ll say is this – it was a very awesome and amazing feeling. After the closing hymn and prayer we had a reception where we all stood around and chatted for a little bit and snacked on yummy food. Oh, and there was punch. I am not sure what that punch was made out of, but it was the best punch I had ever had! Jay and Candy had another commitment that afternoon and had to leave, but first gave me a birthday present from themselves and also from Carter and his wife, Kris. I took off the wrapping paper and there was a brown box. As I opened the box my eyes filled up with tears and I literally had to stop myself from crying. They had gotten me an all-in-one Bible, Book of Mormon, Doctrine and Covenants, and Pearl of Great Price. It was bound in black leather and had tabs for easy searching. My name was embossed in Gold on the cover. I had been to the book store a few days before and had seen it. I had intended on coming back one day soon to get it, but wasn’t able to get it the day I was there. I really didn’t expect it, and as I already mentioned I was simply overjoyed. Since I have had it I have made a point to read aloud each morning to Sam, at least one chapter, as he “follows along” in my old Book of Mormon. After we say our morning prayers together, but before we start our always hectic days. Another sister gave me a journal, and I am writing in it each day. Another Sister gave me a white photograph frame to hold a picture from my baptism day, and almost everyone in attendance signed it. Sister Burton gave me a framed picture and a silver ring. I am very grateful for everything and everyone that came out that day.
There are so many other things I want to say, but no matter how hard I try I just can’t find the words to say them. I can’t describe the feelings I had that day nor can I discribe the ones that I continue to have.
I will say this though, I am very happy to have found my church. I am also happy that in the past 3 days I have had the opportunity to share my experience with two non-members who wanted to know about why I became a member of the church. It was awesome to see their interest and the light in their eyes as we talked about how I was led to the church.
It’s also been incredible to watch my son learn. He is only two, but he has started saying prayers, even when unprompted by me. I hear him ask Jesus for things when he doesn’t know I’m listening, and he is always eager to lay with me in bed and read and pray in the mornings. He always says “Thank you Jesus, Amen.” before eating, and asks to go to church at least once a day. I took him to Nauvoo Books, a Mormon book store, yesterday where he got prophet flashcards, a coloring book and a lollipop. His innocent interest is beautiful in so many ways.
Filed under Mormon, baptism, being a mother, family, how it started, what i'm doing... | Tags: baptism, birthday, confirmation, happy, lds baptism | Comment (0)more photos from my baptism:
I have been trying to write a post about my baptism, but its really hard to explained what happened. All I can say is that it was AWESOME and just gets better every day, really!
Here are a few photos taken that day. I am trying to work on a slide show of photos with a song playing in the back ground, but I haven’t quite figured it out yet. If you know how and feel like sharing some tips just holler at me, I would really appreciate it.
Also, please excuse me for looking a little strange in some of these photos. There were 4 camera’s shooting at once as well as people trying to get me to laugh. I never knew what camera to look at!
If you would like to see more photos taken on the day of my baptism (but not at the church) click here.
Baptism Photos!
I have a lot I want to say about my baptism, it was an AWESOME experiance! I’d also like to also photos of me at the church and i’ll work on that post try to have it up some time tomorrow. Untill then, here are a few photos I also had taken that day.
