as always, my plans have changed…

this will be short. sorry.

So, the only thing for certain is that nothing is ever certain.

As of the last post I was a nanny, right? Well, I babysat little lindsay for 4 weeks, and, although i really fell in love with her an opportunity came along that was just too good to pass up.

I am currently working as a contractor for BP – and the best part is that I am working from home and making my own hours! this is only a temporary assignment, but I hope to be wise with my new income and pay off my truck and convert the garage into a room so that my baby daughter can move out of my ‘dining room’ which is really part of my ‘living room’. (can someone please explain to me why newer construction homes are so poorly designed? or is it just mine? is it the lower-middle class neighborhood i purchased my house in? i don’t understand it  and i’m great with real estate!) So, yeah… thats my plan, but as we all know it could change at any given moment.

On another note, i have had ALOT of awesome testimony building experiences recently. My husband even asked me if i was “high on Jesus” the other day! I hope to get a well written post up about them all very soon.

Almost doesn’t count…

Today is July 1st. This means that we have lived through a full six months of the year 2010. This got me thinking about what my new years resolutions were, and I decided to check my progress and share my status with you. You can read my New Years post HERE where I clearly outline my goals.

Resolution 1.)  to be a better missionary. i will invite (and pray the invitation is accepted) a minimum of 10 people to attend church with me. I was able to get two visitors last year, and although neither have been baptized yet I know that they have at least been introduced and that they know where to go if they have questions or concerns of any kind.

My first New Years Resolution this year was to be a better missionary. I feel as thought I got off on the right track by having the missionaries who are currently living in my ward over for dinner once and inviting my Mother over to join us. My mom has accompanied me to several church events where she seemed to have enjoyed herself, and I thought that maybe having her over for dinner would be a good start. We ate the dinner I had prepared, watched a church movie with the guys and then read a from our scriptures outloud. I am pretty sure the topic of that evenings discussions was The Restoration of the gospel because, still to this day, it is one of my favorite things to discuss. My mom was given a Book of Mormon to read aloud from and then accepted the offer to keep it. I am not sure if she has read any of it since, but I know that she has been introduced and she knows where to go if she has any questions. I invited the missionaries over once again the following month, and my mother agreed to join us, but I fell ill and had to cancel our plans so that I could go to the hospital that evening. I haven’t signed up to have them over since, but I think its about time. They have such a strong spirit about them, and you can’t help but have a great time when they are spending time with you in your home. As far as inviting anyone else to church, I have drooped invites into conversations and emails throughout the year, but as not to seem overly pushy, haven’t followed up as much as I probably should have.

Resolution 2.)  to better live the words of wisdom. I already follow the words of wisdom, but I want to be even healthier. I want to take care of this body that I have been given. I only get one and truth be told I have already put mine through hell and back in the seemingly short time i have been on this earth.

I am somewhat pleased with my progress on this resolution thus far. Of course I do follow the words of wisdom, I have since investigating the church and don’t ever intend on not following them, but, I still have a few unhealthy habits that I am sure I intended on giving up when I made this resolution. A decrease in fountain drinks would be a good start, as it seems to be my current obsession.

Resolution 3.) to be a better wife and mother. I will give all of myself to my family. I will make sure they know i love them and that I am here for them. I will teach Sam the right ways of living and try to get less frustrated with him as he grows and learns and naturally makes mistakes.  I will raise my daughter as best as I can and remember my unconditional love for her at all times – even during the 3am feeding on my 97th consecutive sleepless night following her birth.

Ah, yes. Its strange to re-visit these. I wrote them while I was expecting little Miss Charlie to arrive, and was almost clueless as to how her birth would effect me. I would like to say that I am, again, pleased with my progress on this resolution. I have been getting less frustrated with Sam as he grows, learns, and makes mistakes. He is actually very mature for his age, I think, and we have developed a great method of communication.  As far as Charlie goes, I make a conscious effort to enjoy her every moment of baby-hood. She has almost doubled in size since her birth and I know she’s just going to continue to get bigger. I still consider her a newborn, at only 7 weeks old, but she can sit unassisted for over an hour in her little chair and she can roll-over and scoot too. She still has her baby smell, but it is quickly fading and just the thought of it being entirely gone makes me want to cry. I try to focus only her while she nurses, although I do often multi-task, and just enjoy her. Sam grew up way to fast for me, and I am trying to slow down and enjoy it more this time around. She may very well be my last baby (although i hope not!) and I don’t to miss a thing. I also have taken much better care of my house and my other in-home responsibilities this year, than in years past. My focus is my family and everything I do – or choose not to do, for that matter – is for them… even if they might not understand it at times.

Resolution 4.)  blog more often. I want to use this blog as the tool i originally intended it to be. I want to learn more from ya’ll and i want to write about the ways that the LORD is working in my life.

I have pretty much failed thus far at obtaining this goal. I think about blogging ALL the time, but just never get around to it. You do have my promise that I will continue to make an effort when it comes to keeping this site updated. I do want to hear from you guys more often and I want to speak to you too.

Resolution 5.) read The Book of Mormon from start to finish. The ladies group at my church is doing a challenge together so that we can all read a little bit each day and complete the book on or before the end of the year.

Fail. Big fat FAIL. I haven’t even finished 2 Nephi, to be completely honestly with you, but I AM reading and I WILL finish. I am waiting before trying to accomplish other church-related things until I am done reading my scriptures from cover to cover. I am extremely motivated to do this, believe it or not, I just need a few hours of uninterrupted silence and I could probably read it all at once.

Almost doesn’t count, and because it doesn’t count I will continue to strive to reach these goals that I outlined 6 months ago. I’m so very glad I decided to revisit them, it was a good reminder.

Also, I’d love to hear from you… so de-lurk, my blogger friends, and say hi!

(PS what time does Magnolia ward start? I want to visit ya’ll, but I never remember what time your meetings begin. Sorry!)

a new goal:

Apparently, the month of June is national blogging month. Who knew? Well, some of the blogs I follow are blogging on the same topic as other bloggers each day for the entire month. I’m going to try and blog daily this month also, following the same topics as they are but with a spiritual twist. I do hope you’ll join me for the fun!

I am 3 days behind, so I’ll try to post today’s topic along with the other 2 today and post  one per day moving forward. Wish me luck!

Happy New Year!!!

The New Year is one of my favorite holidays. Why? Because its a time for a fresh start. A time for new commitments and resolutions. Last year one of my resolutions was to find my faith or to finally except that I never would. Thankfully, I was lead to the right church and the right people at just the right time. (Ask in faith and you shall receive!)

This year I have made the following resolutions:

- to be a better missionary. i will invite (and pray the invitation is accepted) a minimum of 10 people to attend church with me. I was able to get two visitors last year, and although neither have been baptized yet I know that they have at least been introduced and that they know where to go if they have questions or concerns of any kind.

- to better live the words of wisdom. I already follow the words of wisdom, but I want to be even healthier. I want to take care of this body that I have been given. I only get one and truth be told I have already put mine through hell and back in the seemingly short time i have been on this earth.

- to be a better wife and mother. I will give all of myself to my family. I will make sure they know i love them and that I am here for them. I will teach Sam the right ways of living and try to get less frustrated with him as he grows and learns and naturally makes mistakes.  I will raise my daughter as best as I can and remember my unconditional love for her at all times – even during the 3am feeding on my 97th consecutive sleepless night following her birth.

- blog more often. I want to use this blog as the tool i originally intended it to be. I want to learn more from ya’ll and i want to write about the ways that the LORD is working in my life.

-read The Book of Mormon from start to finish. The ladies group at my church is doing a challenge together so that we can all read a little bit each day and complete the book on or before the end of the year.

Do you have any resolutions? Feel free to share them here, i always welcome your comments!

one year ago today…

One year ago today I willingly went under the knife to have a roux-n-y bypass. This is a pretty common surgery for weight loss, although one of the most extreme options out there, but I had it preformed to treat other medical problems I had at the time. I needed to loose weight, and that was defiantly an added benefit to having gone to this procedure, but my other health problems is what convinced my insurance to pay 100% of the surgery. I had the beginning stages of Barrett’s disease, a pre-cancer of the stomach and esophagus. Most people who get this disease are about 60 years older than what I was when I was diagnosed. Most people who have the disease have no symptoms what-so-ever, but others, like me, become very sick and need to have part of their stomach and esophagus removed. Although turning in to cancer is somewhat rare, my doctors and I decided that it would be better for me to have the surgery now and attempt to solve the problem because my grandfather died of stomach cancer. I have also had another type of cancer when I was 15. Its just that it seems like I get sick very easily and I didn’t want to risk the problem getting worse. I also had a few other things removed/fixed/repaired while under the knife. Although I didn’t feel much better immediately following my surgery(ies), today, exactly one year later, I am doing much better. After my surgery I lost about 25 or 30 pounds in the first few months (much less than most people having the surgery loose in that time period) but later found out that I had Chronic Biliary Dyskinesia that caused me to need to have my gallbladder removed approximately 6 months following the bypass. Having it removed should have done nothing for weight loss, but it seems like as soon as it was out my extra weight began to drop off.

I don’t own a scale, so I honestly don’t know how much I have lost or what it is that I currently weigh. I think it is safe to say I’ve lost about 80 pounds. I know my highest non-pregnant weight to be 200 pounds and my current weight to be somewhere around 120.

I don’t have many full body photos of me prior to my RNY, but here are two face shots that you can see an obvious difference in my weight.

Before:

After:

Filed under about me, body image, goals, healing, photos, scarey stuff!, sick, what i'm doing... | Comment (0)

My journey thus far, revisited.

Last night I took the time to read through all of my previous blog posts on this site. Each one. Literally. As I read I noticed a pattern. In the last 8, almost 9, months the times when I was most depressed, had the most financial problems, and when I was the most stressed were in the months between when I first started investigating the Mormon Church and now, when I am taking discussions and actively planning my baptism.

I had my dream job; I had a higher salary than most people I know around my age with out having ever finished collage. I had the Eddie Bauer Expedition I had been wanting for years. I had a $600 Coach purse (emphasis on had, I gave that thing up months ago when I realized that I didn’t actually need it…LOL). I had all the worldly things I wanted but I was fighting with depression each and every day. I was not happy, and I battled with empty feelings each day while I fought and ignored where the spirit was trying to lead me.

While reading through each of my posts I revisited each of those empty days. The 60 hour work weeks without seeing my family, without going to the church, without studying. I also revisited my excitement in the earlier part of my journey, as well as in the recent weeks.

Seeing the difference that attending the church and actively studying and preparing to join and just reconfirmed that I am on the right path here. This is the right decision for me, and I am very happy to have finally made it.

Exciting news!

Last week during one of our meetings the elders asked me if August 29^th would be a good day to get baptized. I asked why they had chosen that day (which, unknown to them at the time, happens to be my birthday) and they said it was the first weekend when all of our discussions would be complete. The 29^th is a Saturday, when the actual baptism would take place, and the second part would take place on the 30^th, a Sunday. I didn’t commit to that date right away, although I did commit to being baptized, because I knew Casey had plans that I didn’t know about yet for my birthday. I spoke to Casey that night about it and he agreed that we could do it on that day, and he also shocked me by saying that he would attend.

At the end of yesterday’s discussion with Elder Cluff and Elder Mann, I was given some very exciting (and unexpected) news. Elder Cluff gave me a sheet of paper with a list of things that would take place at my baptism and asked me to think about who I would like to perform each item on the list. I took the sheet of paper and glanced at it, I would need to choose who would give a talk on baptism, another person to give a talk on the gift of the Holy Ghost and…….. someone to baptize me! I honestly had no idea that I would be given the option, I had just assumed that the bishop at my new local ward would do it and I hadn’t ever thought more about it. After reading what was written on the paper I confirmed with him that I had read it right.

“I can choose who baptizes me?!” I squeaked.

“yes, and also who gives you the gift of the Holy Ghost.” He replied.

“Can they be the same person?” I asked, again even more giddy.

“It depends, but who did you have in mind?”

“Carter… Brother Hydrick” I said.

“Oh, yes. He can do both.”

I was so happy; I had to fight back tears of excitement. It was a little after 3pm when the discussion was over and the elders left. Casey gets off of work at 3:30. He always calls me around 3:45 on his way home, but I couldn’t wait so I called him at 3:32 to tell him my exciting news. He surprised me by sounding excited himself. I sent Rae-Lynn a text message to tell her my good news (I didn’t want to call, not knowing her newborns schedule) and she too was excited. I wanted to call Carter right away to ask him (and also so I could actually hear his reaction as well as to be able to tell him how excited I was to be able to choose him), but I couldn’t find his phone number. I emailed him instead and today I got his response. I don’t remember ever missing a call, but he left me a voicemail saying that he would be honored to do it AND even more cool – he got my email on his blackberry while in Nauvoo, Illinois, an important city in the church’s history. I’m going to read more about it as soon as I am done blogging, but the little bit I have read so far is very interesting.

I choose him to preferm my baptism because he has been an awesome help in this journey. From the very first time I met him he has always been kind, and has always taken the time to answer my questions (even the weird ones that casey has thrown in from time to time!) As far as I am concerned without his help I would not be getting baptized. He set up the discussions with the Elders from my ward, and called and emailed me to make sure everything was going smoothly. he even took time out of his day last week to attend church at my local ward and go to Sunday School with me. I meant to blog about that already, but I haven’t.

Earlier this afternoon I had my baptismal meeting at the church with another Elder and all seems to have gone well. It wasn’t very long, less than an hour, and sam was well behaved. He just played with his coloring pad and ate animal cookies for a little while, and then played the piano in the room for the last 10 minutes or so. When we first arrived at the church, where Sam has never been before, he asked me “Mommy, my new church?” That surprised me, because I hadn’t even really talked to him about where we were going today, let alone why. I hadn’t even thought about telling him about it, he is only two. I replied by saying “yes baby, this is your new church. You and mommy will be coming here from now on!”. He clapped his hands and shouted “yay! MY shhhhhh church!” (he often adds “shhhh” before the words, church, library, movies, etc.)

Anyways, I know it has been awhile since I blogged last and I really wanted to take time out today to tell everyone my exciting news. I would have done it yesterday, but I wanted to wait until I heard back from Carter.

In case you are curious…

Here is a little peak at what I have been up to in the last 6 weeks since I resigned from my place in main stream corporate America. You know how I had said that I have been sewing a lot? Well, I wasn’t making it up.

My actual dotcom site should be up this weekend, thanks to a lot of hard work by my awesome sister-in-law, Miss Holly Kate. I am really excited about this, and I’d love to get ya’lls imput on the products I have listed already on my Etsy site. Etsy is a site that hosts individual’s (like me!) handmade products. I have been shopping on there for quite a while  and now I am actually a seller too.

My products can be purchased through etsy, or thought my personal site. I’ll post the link to my new site when its officially up and running.

Untill then please check out my products as shown in the link posted below. I’d love to hear any comments or suggestions you may have. Thanks!

sodeepopshoppe.etsy.com

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Sewing, Fire-update, and gun rights…

Well, I haven’t been blogging much because I have been super busy (what’s new, right?). My business is coming along, slowly but surely, and I hope to have my site up and running next week so you guys can check out what I have been up too. I have been sewing in all of my free time, and man its not as easy as I thought. I can work on cars, field strip a gun, and do all those other not-so-girly-things…. I took Home Ec. in 7^th grade, but the sewing didn’t stick. I always thought it was cool, but never really picked up the skill. It took a  few weeks, but I now know how to thread a machine and bobbin, and do about 96 different kinds of stitches! Embroidery is next of my list of skills to tackle, and I hope to start on that tonight.

As for the fire, my kitchen has been cleaned up, thanks to my husband who did most of the labor, but we still don’t have a working stove. I finally gave in and filed with my homeowners insurance yesterday because there is just no way we could replace that without some help, not to mention the other things we lost too. There is only so much crockpotting and microwaving this gal can take! The adjuster came by yesterday and took photos, he promised to return today with my check (minus the $500 deductible). I am soooo excited. I can’t wait to cook real food again! If the rain stops (praise God its finally raining! Its been over 100 each day for the past month and we haven’t had a drop!) I am going to go to a refurbished appliance place down the road with Sammy and let him help “pick it out”. He likes having important jobs like that to do.

Gun Rights. I know that this is a sensitive topic, and I don’t anticipate going into detail on how I feel on the topic here, but I do have a prayer request. I have been trying for MONTHS to get my Concealed Handguns License. I took the class in November of 2008 and passed the shooting course and the written exam, getting A’s on both. I have been in an on-going battle with the State of Texas because of an arrest I had at the age of 15. According to the laws if you are convicted or adjudicated of a crime that is considered a felony you may not obtain a CHL for a minimum of 10 years. Its been over 8 years since my arrest, and since I was adjudicated for carrying prescription drugs at school. It was a Monday morning and I was caught with my prescriptions in my backpack before I had the chance to take them to the school nurse (ah, the public school system….) I was arrested in front of my classmates, taken to juvi where I spent a little bit of time getting my hair braided and being forced to shower in front of large groups of people. When I finally had my court date and was convicted of FIVE class two felonies for “possession of a controlled substance in a drug free zone, greater than 1 gram”. I had my driver’s license suspended, and served 80 hours of community service. I was sent off to a “special school” for kids that were convicted felons. I was molested by the security guard, and spent all of my time with very mean kids. The point is that I have served my time, well over what my crime actually deserved. I have my appeal hearing this Friday at 8 am to tell the judge my story, and request to be given my rights back. I NEED my gun rights, especially after my recent assault and death threat, not to mention that I DESERVE my rights as a law abiding united states citizen. I didn’t break a law by taking my medicine to school, only for not taking it to the nurse fast enough. My crime was not violent, nor do I have the intention of ever becoming violent. I want to carry a gun to protect myself and to enjoy a day at the shooting range with my family.

Also… if you want to help insure this nation’s second amendment rights please join the NRA! I am a proud member, and I encourage you to be one too!

Here is a photo of my shooting my gun on the day I got it. It is a Springfield Armory XD Sub-Compact .40 Cal. I had originally planned on getting the 9mm since that is the weapon I had trained on and I was worried about the kick back in anything bigger, but the .40 Cal held more rounds, and was around the same price. (not to mention that you can’t find 9mm ammo anywhere now-a-days! .40 Cal is hard to find also, but when you find it you can usually purchase several boxes at once and stock up)

I’m back, as promised.

Well, the biggest change recently has been my employment. For years I wanted to work in the oil field. I’m a conservative Texas gal, what can I say. Anywho, I got that dream job at the end of last year, and loved it. I loved the work I was doing, and I loved the company I worked for. I did not love my co-workers, though. I tried to befriend them. I tried to fit in. I tried to make it all work. I was polite. I prayed about and for them. After several months of enduring their grotesque behavior (including being assaulted and having a death threat made against me at work) I finally filed a police report, a formal complaint with my HR manager, and turned in my resignation.

Although it was a hard decision to make, I feel as thought it was the right one. I have a pretty good resume and when the time is right I plan on starting a job search. In the meantime though I have decided to try and be a stay at home mom again. This is ultimately my goal in life. If you had asked me what I wanted to be when I was a little girl I would have said very matter-of-factly “a wife and mother OR a secretary, but not both”. I am not sure why I wanted to be a secretary as a young girl, but I did. I knew that if I ever worked it would be in an office setting working for other people. I love helping out, I have great customer service skills, type fast, and don’t mind answering phones. The truth of the matter is as I got to be a little bit older I realized that, more than anything else, my family came first. I am not the type of person that can leave work at work. I am emotional, and feel the need to vent to my husband every night about the day’s happenings. We have the same conversation every night, and have since we began dating. “How was your day, babe?” It’s the same when we call on our breaks. “How is your morning going?”. We encourage each other in everything we do, and we have great communication skills, mostly. When Sam cries when he’s left in the morning it breaks my heart. “Mommy, I love you. Please, mommy, please!” ::insert sweet Sam kisses here:: I hate leaving him. I hate knowing that I am not the one teaching him, and that I am missing so many ‘firsts’. I would tell Casey this when Sam had a hard morning, and almost always end up in tears. It’s so hard to leave him when he doesn’t want to be left. Its even harder to pick him up when he doesn’t want to come home though too. He is in good hands, but they aren’t mine.

Financially speaking, I need to have an income of some kind. We are prepared to make whatever sacrifices are necessary, and we are still committed to living debt free. This means no credit cards will be opened, or loans will be taken out while I am out of work. This also means that I will go back to working weekends (something I really didn’t want to do while I am trying to commit to a church). However, I do have a little plan. I am opening my own business, and I’m giving myself a few months to start generating income with it. I’ll blog more about it later, after its official. I’m going to the courthouse Friday morning to register, and I’ll go from there. Mostly I plan on making and selling hand-made items, like crafts, soaps, and candies. I like to consider myself crafty, and I really hope this works. I know that I am the best person to be teaching Sam, and although I would have preferred this to have happened under much different circumstances, I am ready to give it a shot.

Worse case scenario I go back to work in a few months with soap-making under my belt, but at least I can say I tried.

On a different note, I am still chasing conviction. I am continuing my studies, and reading over the materials sent to me by some friends. I want to commit soon, and hopefully I won’t have to work to many weekends. Maybe I can find a way to work and attend church – that would be AWESOME.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress, and I promise to blog here much more often.

I’d love for you all to leave me some comments – anything. Your favorite scripture, a recent blessing, a testimony, a prayer request…. Or just “hi.”