Charlie Grace is TWO!

we went to a frozen yogurt place to celebrate.

Happy Mothers Day

There is no greater calling!

you might be taylor if…

going to the place you are considering moving too requires a gps, ariat boots, a machete and guns in case a wild gator comes at ya…

yes, ive completely lost my mind. :)

vitamix

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Magnolia?

We may consider moving there if Casey keeps his job in Houston. I’ve been looking and all I can say is that I am still in love with the area. We still have about 10 months on our lease at our newest place so we have a while to figure it out… but yeah, if i can make it happen, i think i’ll try. Portland is still a strong possibility, too, though, and we are trying to visit there the last week of August to look for work and housing. Its all up in the air, but i’m very happy about it. I think i actually like moving around and doing new things. Its stressful at times, but then when its over i just can’t wait to do it again. Part of the problem is that I know what I want in the end, its just a matter of what to do until then. Time will tell!

hi! i’m just fine!

ok, so i’m sorry if i worried some of you with my last post. I know an addict that had been sober for a few months and relapsed. I was surprisingly calm on the whole thing – probably because nothing tooooo bad happened – and everyone is just fine.

As far as my anger and depression goes – i seem to have gotten it back under control. I finally figured out my doses on the supplements i’m taking as well as removing a few that i had been on and adding encapsulated Tumeric to the mix.  I’ve also been more active at the gym (although casey got a virus that attacked his lungs, as did charlie, so we missed a little over a week). I even completed my first 25 mile bike ride! I am still WAY out of shape and have a long ways to go before i get where i need to be, but something is better than nothing.

Anyways… Its all good. :)

recently ive been feeling crazy, depressed and angry and no matter how hard ive tried i haven’t been able to conquer it. tonight something happened that i would have easily predicted to send me off the edge, but instead im incredibly calm. for that i am thankful.

Sam’s 5th Birthday – Dress up & Photo Party

Dress up isn’t just for girls, you know! Sam has about 10 of his friends meet up at my parents neighborhood park and run around, play, eat pizza, take silly photos and… DRESS UP! It was by far one of the funnest parties we have ever had.

Her are a few of the photos we have gotten back from Joe, Casey’s photographer friend, so far. There are plenty more coming!

(L-R) Sam as optimus, Carson as Captain America, Collin as Bumblebee

Me, the birthday boy’s mom

The birthday boy’s Daddy:

Casey’s sister, Aunt Holly, made angry bird cake pops:

Barefooted Charlie Pirate:

Charlie Grace as Yoda:

Sam, the birthday boy, as Optimus Prime:

They ran around for HOURS changing in and out of old Halloween costumes and dollar-store silly hats and accessories.

I’ll post more as soon as i get them from Joe!

gettin’ my angry out…

Besides getting more active, my original goal when i joined our gym, i’m getting to attack myself physically and get some of my anger out. I also get to think alot (its quiet because my not-so-quiet babies are in the kids club).

i’m doing about 3 miles a day in a combination of eliptial and bike. Today I spent half an hour in the 185 degree F sauna screaming in my own head about whatever I was upset about this morning. By the time I was ready to get out I was … happy. I felt good and I had nothing left to complain about.

I have also been talking with my husband more about the things that have been bothering me – like not knowing if we are moving to Portland… or not. Not knowing if we are going to try for another baby this year… or not. I am spontenious, really i am, but i like to have a goal in mind that i can work towards an end result. I don’t really have any specific goals right now and I think that is bothering me.

I also realized that I feel like i am spiritually dying a little. I am almost certian that stems from my anger. I am still doing all things I know I should be doing, though. I am thankful to actually reconize these feelings so that i can address them before they get out of control… to MAKE myself take time to feel my spirtual body (and my physical one too… because I still don’t find the time to do that as offten as i should either!)

Anyways. I’m getting better. Or making a conscious effort to try to. Carry on.

Sams last night as a 4 year old boy:

He plans on waking up with a mustache, a deepened voice and leghair… I sure hope he doesn’t!

EDITED TO ADD:

Sam was still awake when i went in at Midnight to give him a birthday kiss. I expected him to be asleep, but since he wasn’t… i quickly snapped this with my phone.