My favorite scripture, revisited. I can never read it enough!

August 11th, 2013

22 And now, behold, if Adam had not transgressed he would not have fallen, but he would have remained in the garden of Eden. And all things which were created must have remained in the same state in which they were after they were created; and they must have remained forever, and had no end.
23 And they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin.
24 But behold, all things have been done in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things.
25 Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.,23,24,25?lang=eng

What we have been doing –

June 15th, 2013

Moving to Utah has been a very hard adjustment for me to make, and adding the the effects of my accident has made it harder. I have been so anxious and depressed and angry for the last month. Yesterday, we drove out to SLC to meet our new Maximized Living Provider, Dr. Taylor, and get our first set of adjustments after our move and since our wreck. Maximized Living is close to my heart and I have been seeing Dr. Mahan in Texas for years now but it is new in Utah. I am so happy their office is only 44 miles away – i have had to drive farther in the past. Anyway, after my first adjustment I felt instantly better. The burning pain in my eyes were gone. The pain in my shoulders, neck and back were gone. Then I did a full body vibe for 5 minutes and that, as always, made me SO happy and I felt so clean and healthy when we left. My power had been turned back on!

Casey and I also decided that we DO need to go ahead and buy another car. I think we will remain a one car family, but we need a bigger vechile because his lowered 425hp two wheel drive car is not a good fit for the Utah roads, traffic and severe weather. Living without a car for a while now has made me realize how much i *don’t* need one all day every day, but I do need it for occasional things – doctors visits, grocery shopping, ect. I can not drive casey’s car and he can not be my errand boy and personal driver for ever. Heh. With our new additions to our family coming soon we need more space than it can offer anyways. We aren’t really decided on what we will do at this point, but i am pretty sure some sort of change will be coming soon. We really aren’t in a rush so we have time to decide.

As far as ‘new additions’ go, we are adding a few family members. My 82 year old grandmother, Mimi, is moving in with us full time in less than 2 weeks and we have committed to adopting, Gunner, a rescue dog being transported from Texas at the end of the month too. We also hope to add another baby or two in the near future, too. So, because of these changes to our family, as well as some unexpected plumbing emergencies, our home is in the middle of a remodel. At first I was so angry from my car accident that I just took a crowbar to the flooring upstairs and in a matter of 2 hours I had ripped out nasty old carpet and padding to reveal 51 year old hardwoods hidden beneath. Over the next two weeks or so we finished ripping out all the carpets upstairs, removing all the baseboards, trim, doors, and hardware. We sanded, primed, stained and sealed the floors and are working on replacing all of the doors, moulding, trim and hardware with new solid wood that we are painting a clean bright white color to go against the blue-gray walls and onyx floors. We are also having to replace 14 of our windows because they are so loose that they can easily be pushed out and leak air and water – which is obviously not good. We are doing all of this ourselfs (what a wonderful learning experience!) but have outsourced the manufacturing and installation of the windows and

Then, in the midst of all of that, we had a tub that wouldn’t drain. I treated the pipes, snaked and plunged them… with no results. I finally caved and called out a plumber. The plumber misdiagnosed the problem and ruined my antique cast iron tub in the process. After getting several other opinions we found out that we have some piping that needs replacing. We have two options. We can either cut out the ceiling and one wall in the basement or we can remove all of the existing fixtures in the upstairs bathroom and access the pipes through the flooring. Because of their age the fixtures can not be replaced safely once removed. Since the tub was already ruined and because i would rather not knock out walls we have decided to replace the fixtures and try to access the pipes through the flooring. And because my grandmother is moving in with us and that will be the bathroom she will most often use we have decided on getting a walk-in therapeutic tub for her. This requires an electricity outlet to be added, but otherwise it can all fit and function within the space we already have. We had no plans on redoing the bathroom so soon after moving in, but are excited to go ahead and have working plumbing again. Its been almost a month of not having a working tub. So excited for that project to be complete!

Casey is loving Utah. He loves his job, the weather, the mountains… EVERYTHING. He is just so happy here! He even loves this house – pink carpet, rusty pipes and all.

i can’t wait to be finished with our upstairs and upload photos for ya’ll to see!

As my first week in Utah comes to an end, as does the life of Large Marge my Expedition -

May 17th, 2013

i just ate an entire jar of refrigerator pickles and two organic dark chocolate almond butter cups. i can’t sleep, either. i guess this is how im gonna mourn Marge. for every bad time where we broke down there was 100 good ones. she was the car that brought charlie home from the hospital, and the one that took me off road and where i prayed and got my answer as to which church to join in almost 4 years ago. I have ate my dinner and then slept in there more nights than i care to count – i literally had it longer than any ‘real’ home i’ve ever owned and probably spent more time in it, too. It was SO much more than just a car me. It was, when i first bought it, my dream car. This all just sucks so bad. I have always said i needed to be car-less to learn how to be less of a consumer… maybe this is part of that greater plan. At first i was so thankful we were all alive, then i was scared when it set in what had happened and where i was, then i was angry. Now i’m just sad. Really, really, really sad.

We were hit by a man driving at full speed down the shoulder of the road. He hit us hard enough to flip us to the side and then we bounced back. Thankfully, we didn’t completly roll and even though we have cuts and bruises we were in good enough shape to walk home from where it happened. I have been having a very hard time with some things these past few weeks and this put it in a new light. I DO love my husband and my children and I’m so thankful to have the opportunity to spend the rest of our lives together. This could have ended so much worse. I’m also thankful that, even though it didn’t survive the crash, my car kept us safe. I can not imagine any other vehicle or any other crash senario having the same end result. It was a perfect crash. The strongest part of our car was hit and everyone was ok. In the end that is all that matters. I only have Texas liability coverage (no collision) which has no value here. I won’t be getting any type of insurance benefits or compensation. I’ll be carless for awhile, but who knows… Maybe i’m supposed to be-. Time will tell what lesson i will learn and what purpose this has for me.

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PS i’m in utah & I have dreadlocks.

May 11th, 2013

We started the almost 1600 mile drive on the 4th and spent one night in New Mexico, one in Colorado and then the third night we finally made it to our new house. Its been a rough move, but i’m getting to be more at peace with it each day. I like the house and I like the area. Its just hard for other reasons… bleh.

My fears of having moved into an LDS warzone have also been confirmed. EVERY day I have been ‘warned’ about the church from people who see me unloading boxes or something else that makes it obvious that i’ve just arrived here. It bothers me that people feel compelled to warn strangers about the local church members, but I also know that it gives me the chance to step up and smash their stereotypes and lead them by example to the fullness that is there. Each of these people are so surprised that I am a member of the church and acutally listen a little bit to what I have to say. I know that I am planting a seed of sorts with these people that might one day lead them to the fullness of the gospel. I kind of think that is why I am here – to teach the people who don’t want to be taught by the missionaries who are perceived as young and without life experiences. I am SO thankful for the missionaries that have touched my life, but I understand how speaking with them isn’t appealing to someone who didn’t have your typical LDS upbringing. I didn’t grow up knowing about the church or wanting to be a mormon and I have heard all of the steryotypes before. I have a strong testimony and it was my personal life experiences that lead me to where I am and helped me to grow. I know that, by example, i can lead people to the fullness they are missing.

Originally I thought my move here served other purposes for my family and our eternal future, but in my short stay here so far I am beginning to see a different plan for my family and for me, specifically. I have let go of *my* plans and am just praying for the lord to move my feet down the path he wants me to walk stopping to do whatever it is he needs me to do along the way. Its not easy to let go of something you have wanted so badly for so long, but it was time. I am finally at peace with it.

I am not sure any of this makes sense – i am only sleeping 3 or so hours a night these days. Lots to do with unpacking and stuff. Obviously we are back from our short stay in Mexico now, and I have also dreaded my hair (as crazy as it sounds my reasons are primarily spiritual. a detailed post to follow) Charlie will be turning 3 this Sunday and we are celebrating tomorrow. Its so hard to believe how much she has grown!

Officially official.

April 17th, 2013

We closed on our house yesterday, and after waiting a little more than 24 hours for our down payment check to clear the bank, we got our keys today. Casey spent several hours in the house tonight before returning to his bosses house where he is currently living, and by his own admission, spent most of that time crying.

He keeps receiving one confirmation after another. Every single day. He is so happy.

I am happy for him. For us.

Here she is, ya’ll. Click here to see our Clearfield house. This is the first house we have ever purchased together and its our biggest and scarest move yet – but we both understand how there is a greater plan and a greater purpose that we can not see. Each and everything we have done in the past has led us HERE.

The kids and I will be joining him on May 4th. We can not wait.

my fear -

April 10th, 2013

Casey is on his second week of being a Utah resident. I will be moving up there in about 2 weeks and while I’m scared of fiances (pay cut + state tax that we don’t have in texas = scarey!) i am more worried about living near so many… Mormons.

Now, I realize that sounds crazy. I am Mormon myself, right? I am. I have a strong testimony. I know that this is a true church and that it has been restored. I have no doubts that I made the right choice in getting baptized, confirmed or going through the temple.

I am concerned about being around so many people who have *always* been a member of the church. Maybe they haven’t had the life experiences I had to lead them there. I really dont know how to express my fear, but it is a genuine fear. I talk to casey (who just LOVES utah, by the way) every day about it. I am also concerned about the ex-members and the anti-lds. I guess the only way to describe is as though I am moving into a war zone. You are either super-mormon and always have been, or you aren’t and you fight with all of your strength against it.

My testimony of the church is strong, as is my testimony to move alongside Casey to Utah. That isn’t what this is about. Has anyone else had any simular fears?

In other news Casey has clearly received spiritual confirmations that he is doing the right thing and is living in the right place. He says its from the Universe and not the Holy Spirit, but i’ll take it.

I am just happy that he is finally happy with that part of his life. <3


March 31st, 2013

Sam just came into my room (its 11:09pm) and my first reaction was to tell him to go back to bed. I didn’t, though, and asked him what he wanted to tell me. He told me he needed to share a movie with me that he had found on the internet. It was a reenactment of Christ’s Cruxifiion. I don’t ‘celebrate’ easter in the same way that i don’t ‘celebrate’ Christmas. (for the record Mormon’s DO celebrate these holidays. and i am not against their celebration at all) I just can’t get all super excited about it. I believe wholeheartedly that Jesus is my savior, but i remember it daily and do not need one day a year to eat candy and gush about how important it is to me – if that makes any sense. It has pegan roots, just like Christmas does, too, so i kind of feel like it really isn’t a christian holiday – more of a government compromise from long ago that now has a bunch of consumerism tied to it. Anyways. I don’t get offended by others who choose to celebrate it today, its just not something i can get super excited about for just one single day. I am trying each year to get more excited and more involved in the day’s celebration, but i’m just not *there* yet. So because of my personal feelings about the mainstream celebration of the easter holiday i don’t think i have taught my children enough, or spoken enough about it to them recently. I was shocked and amazed that Sam had found this video (he has the mormon chanel on his kindle) and so flattered and honored that he would choose to share it with me. The excitement in his eyes as he talked about how much he loves Jesus and how much Jesus loves him was so heartwarming. It was a nice way to spend a few minutes together so late this evening. I am so thankful that I was calmed and accepting when he came to speak to me instead of urging him to return to bed like i wanted too. Anyway, here is the video. Sam would like me to share it with you and to have you share it with your family tonight and cuddle in bed and watch it like we did.


March 28th, 2013

Today is Casey’s last day of work as a Technical Sales and Designer in Houston, Tx. After he leaves today he will drive 1,540 miles to start his new job as a Sales Engineer in Woods Cross, Utah on Monday. Two years ago i was at my dads birthday party at his lake house in Lago Vista and I prayed and fasted for a way to get out of the house we had in Cypress. We faithfully followed the plan I was given which has littetally lead us to taking this job in Woods Cross and buyibg this house in Clearfield, Utah. It had lots of ups and downs along the way and, even though i am scared, im still wholeheartedly following the plan laid out for me. I have a testimony of prayer and fasting – something i just dont do often enough – and the blessings that come from faithfully following the revelations laid out for us… Even if it is as seemingly crazy and hopeless as mine was. :)


March 25th, 2013

I had to take Sam to the hospital on two different days last week. Both events were unrelated. The first time he got a huge nasty knot on his head by ‘running into a slide’ and the second time he broke his arm when he fell off a scooter while playing up the street with a neighborhood friend. Sheesh! I didn’t witness either of those two accidents. No worries, though, he is doing just fine. In fact he tripped and rolled down a little cliff while watching deer in the yard yesterday. He was just standing still and then somehow toppled over and rolled. He just stood up and kept watching them like nothing had happened! Boys will be boys will be boys!

finished negotiating and signed the addendum

March 20th, 2013

we didn’t get exactly what we had asked for, but we got a more-than fair deal. So no more concerns on the house. We will have all major repairs we need made done before our settlement date and will handle the more minor stuff as the budget allows after we get there.

i am having a hard time being a ‘single mom’ in the middle of nowhere. I love the lake and the opportunity i have to live here for pretty much free, but this is SO hard. And i’m less than 2 weeks into this with about 6 to 8 more weeks to go.

We are having a small going away bowling party at Times Square in Katy, Texas this Friday evening. If anyone would like to come and say goodbye please comment or message me for the details.


  • About

    Daughter of a Heavenly Father. Wife. Momma. Foody. Libertarian. Unschooler. Minimalist. I was lost and seeking, but now I have found where I belong. I was baptized and confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints on August 29, 2009. I have never been happier! I am still learning more each day and almost always have something new to say, so keep stopping by for new and updated blog posts. Thanks for following along on my journey!


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